Sunday, October 30, 2005

Strong woman and woman of Strength

上個星期,收到Emily forward 嘅一個e-mail,好有意思,不過,因為冇時間,睇完好快close左

今日-----十分 十分之頹同埋攰
突然諗起佢send 俾我嘅呢個e-mail
睇完之後,有一種好特別嘅感覺
好似提醒我,我嘅目標,我嘅方向
我希望有一日,可以好似我兩個supervisor 咁tough 咁有料
雖然我唔相信基督教,
但我相信命運
上天會指示我要行嘅路
我希望我可以做個woman of strength


A strong woman works out every day to her body in shape, but
A woman of strength kneels in prayer to keep her soul in shape

A strong women isn’t afraid of anything, but
A strong woman of strength shows courage in the midst of her fear

A strong woman won’t let anyone get the best of her, but
A woman of strength gives the best of her to everyone

A strong woman makes mistakes and avoids the same in the future, but
A woman of strength realizes life’s mistakes can also be the God’s blessing and capitalized on them

A strong woman walks sure footedly, but
A women of strength knows god will catch her when she falls

A strong woman wears the look of confidence on her face, but
A woman of strength wears grace

A strong woman has faith that she is strong enough for the journey, but
A woman of strength has faith that it is in the journey that she will become strong


(Complied by Suka Pasi Taufa)

Monday, October 24, 2005

心驚驚

零晨三點幾就o黎四點
有好清脆嘅雀仔聲之外
Hall 附近隻狗不停o係度吠

可能………………..
附近有------------- 鬼 !!!!!
心驚驚的!!!

Whether change and mood change

Whether change dramatically these days
Getting colder and dryer

Mood also like that
Suddenly get cold and dry
Begin to feel depressed these days
Need time to adjust to the whether and well as my mood

Lost some weight last week coz several nights burnt mid-night oil
Brain kept work for the whole week
Lost my appetite, food do not interested me anymore


Got not enough time to rest
Got not enough time to listen and see things around
Got not enough time even to feel upset


The only day for my body to rest is also the only day for my emotion rest
All the suppressed emotions just burst out
Maybe it is also influenced by the periodical and biological uniqueness of female
Just lose much energy to concentrated
Just being preoccupied with damn negative emotions

Works piled up
Energy trapped
Really wanna to eliminate the negative emotion
I need work and work need me

Whether change and mood change

Whether change dramatically these days
Getting colder and dryer

Mood also like that
Suddenly get cold and dry
Begin to feel depressed these days
Need time to adjust to the whether and well as my mood

Lost some weight last week coz several nights burnt mid-night oil
Brain kept work for the whole week
Lost my appetite, food do not interested me anymore


Got not enough time to rest
Got not enough time to listen and see things around
Got not enough time even to feel upset


The only day for my body to rest is also the only day for my emotion rest
All the suppressed emotions just burst out
Maybe it is also influenced by the periodical and biological uniqueness of female
Just lose much energy to concentrated
Just being preoccupied with damn negative emotions

Works piled up
Energy trapped
Really wanna to eliminate the negative emotionI need work and work need me

Saturday, October 22, 2005

承諾

答應過比的
一定要做到
答應過自己的
亦一定要做到,而且要做得更好
對自己好是對別人好的先決
此承諾定於二零零五年,十月廿二日

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

都係想下好喇

呢兩日天朗氣清
涼風陣陣,好舒服
令我諗起前年呢個時候同比踩單車入大尾篤,真係好開心
但係今時唔同往日,而家基本上個個星期三、四、六都要番仁愛堂
呢個星期仲要番足五日…….. 因為要做問卷,仲要為自己個工作小組準備
5/11 ,第一次開自己project 個會就live supervision ,真係有d驚
不過第一次做live supervision 有第一次嘅好
而家剩低10日時間去籌備,打電話,家訪,約姊妹
仲有好多功課都未做…………但energy level 又低
好想自己可以患上過度活躍症(但唔要注意力缺失),咁就可以有多d時間去做嘢


好想到郊外,好想揼骨,好想咩功課都唔洗做

都係想下好

Saturday, October 15, 2005

紫藤聲明


紫藤聲明
抗議警方濫權 迫死性工作者
05年10月11日,李婉儀因抗議被「放蛇」警員「冤枉」,不甘受辱,留下遺書後在東頭邨跳樓自殺。為了維持生計、儲錢買樓讓家人有安居之所、賺錢供細佬妹讀書,李婉儀從事性工作行業多年。事發當日,警察電召李婉儀的中介人,要求安排性工作者到一灣仔時鐘酒店提供性服務,肉金三千元。李婉儀入房後,要求客人先付500元,完事後再付尾數。該警察要求口交服務,但完事後拒絕支付餘下二千五百元。其後,李婉儀在該警察錢包內取走二千五百元作為尾數,並將染有警察精液的避孕套放入手袋。但當李婉儀步出酒店時,被數名警察截停拘捕,三千元肉金被檢走、沾有警察精液的避孕套亦被警員檢走拋棄。李婉儀並被落案指她涉嫌恐嚇和偷竊,以一萬元擔保外出。李婉儀因不甘受辱受屈,才自殺「以死申冤」,討回清白。

過去,紫藤一直有關注警察濫權、放蛇「趙完鬆」的情況,但警務處處長拒絕修訂、清楚列明放蛇指引,令上述的情況更趨嚴重,李婉儀自殺事件凸顯警察濫權的嚴重性。

05年1月至今,紫藤已收到超過100宗投訴警察放蛇濫權的個案,個案中有不少性工作者被脫光衣服搜身,其中一名性工作者更在兩天內被脫光衣服搜4次身,亦有不少警察免費嫖的例子,情況令人關注。

我們要求:
1. 警方公開事件的來龍去脈,不能黑箱作業;
2. 警方必須處分事件中失職警察;
3. 警方對李婉儀家人作出合理賠償;
4. 警方修訂放蛇指引,清楚列明警察在放蛇過程中不能享用任何性服務;
5. 將警察投訴科獨立於警察機制之內,避免造成申訴人申訴無門的情況,再有慘劇發生。

紫 藤
關注性工作者團體

Working days n Nights

早上4:00
剛剛準備好workplan
明天10半要到灣仔胡忠大厦社署總部同街坊見署方
今日番centre打電話時,同事兼CENTRE IC brief 左我,要有心理準備明天可能會有少少conflict 場面,role係根據到時環境同街坊行動意向去支援街坊
仲有做de-briefing …………
點都好,我地要堅持我地底線

今日紫藤o係灣仔警察總部有action,去想去,但同CD 堂撞到正
兩個我都好想COMMIT ,最後揀左上堂
但心裡仍記掛住佢地action 情況
上完堂,同佢地傾左一陣present就要番centre 打電話做問卷
今次present ,自己因為私人事情同placement 嘅工作,contribution 真係好少
好多謝佢地體諒我,我只能負出勞力去contribute


今日announce 左hon pro supervisor,又係LINDA ,都幾開心
但而家其實好想轉番個TOPIC ,study 嫖客同姐仔function
唔知轉唔轉得呢…

明天去完社署又要番BU supervision

好驚會係linda 面前爆emotion
之後要繼續做功課
呢個星期開始發覺d 時間真係好唔夠
d 功課,好想做,搵左料做------ 但係冇時間做…….點樣先可以好有效運用時間


最近多左嘢做
個人開始冇胃口
食少左嘢
但個腸胃依然好有問題
發到上番面,醜樣之餘又癢又痛
完成unprecedented 地annoying
煩煩煩煩煩煩煩煩煩煩

Friday, October 14, 2005

TO 比

對唔住
為左個broadband router 發脾氣
但我唔係嬲你,因為我知道你安排嘅都係為左我嘅benefits
當時係一諗起send 極mail 都send 唔到仲浪費左我好多寶貴時間先會好似忟彊咁

知道你今日番工開會好exhausted ,我都唔體諒你仲發老脾
我知道我嘅情緒都會牽動到你嘅情緒
really sorry for 衝動

個wireless 上網,連日o黎你都花左好多心機,唔洗咁趕啦
你有充足精神先幫我攪好了
我會用盡方法去解決technical 問題………
最多麻煩d
(1) notebook TO 手指 TO pc TO web TO centre
(2) request ic to make my notebook connected to the broadband service
或者索性買個外置floppy disc ………最後極無奈的選擇
但為左工作順利,要負出

Anyway
呢幾日要take good care coz 你傷風未清
多食橙食蔬菜,唔好唔飲/飲多d auntie 靚湯,有時間去跑下步,或者行下都好
著多件衫
星期日下晝見

Thursday, October 13, 2005

OT OT OT OT OT

今星期要番field 四日共7 節
下星期又要番5日共10節
OT 嘅日子好似沒完沒了咁
點解由開field 到而家,OT 左咁多時間,但都唔覺自己學左好多嘢??
係咪因為我個人鈍胎呢>? 白白浪費時間??!!!!

今日開會同同事傾短期及中期工作
係喎,先發聲勢一定好過捱打
點解我之前唔會察覺呢
坐住左個腦……..真係好死蠢

組織人
首先要由組織一D 故事開始
組織故事再組織D人去組織一D 屬於佢地嘅事
Advocacy ,真係唔容易
今日o係中心打電話做問卷,竟然同婦女講我係義工
ic 提番我,人地要identify 我係社工
我諗係潛意識嘅反應
角色上,仲未tune in 到去worker 嘅role
可能,社工呢個名詞背後蘊含好多應背負嘅嘢,我自問冇資格去take up
我真係冇一種社工嘅感覺
因為腦又唔掂,口又唔掂,手都唔掂


最近
壓力嘅身體病徵又浮晒出o黎
都唔知自己嘅身體會變得咁sensitive 同fragile
煩死人

明天要再努力打電話
同時為自己工作打好個底
努力組織故事!!!!

finalized cd grouping lists

各位SOWK讀CD 同學
以下係finalized cd agency study 嘅grouping lists
**個名係紅色嘅同學,想邀請你地做你地o個group 嘅contact person
主要負責contact 機構worker,rita kwok 同 groupmates.
**另外,由於我o係blogger 交待得唔清楚,令到大car 誤會左分group 嘅方法,一度令o係第一round 已經入左天水圍嘅tracy 「西」左出o黎,幸得阿北提示番我地先發現出現左誤會。
但由於發現誤會時分組已經塵埃落定,我又唔想勞師動眾咁再去抽籤,於是TRACY o係會入番天水圍project o個一group。
而家只有o個一group 有10個人,其餘分別係8個同9個(見表)。作出咁嘅安排,希望同學體諒。
如果contact person 冇問題,請各聯絡人各自都send你地個電話同STUDENT ID(連同你地groupmates 嘅student id) 俾我。我會o係10月13日晚send 個List 同你地嘅聯絡資料俾rita 。
如果唔核做contact person,請你地o係group 入面comp 一個出o黎,o係10月13日內都俾我知道。thx

SOCO
1. 嘉琪
2. bonnie
3. Simon
4. 穎恩
5. 餵蚊
6. April
7. emily
8. 包
9. gloria

工權會
1. Tina
2. Rebecca
3. 二
4. 金hei
5. vane
6. Nicola
7. Rita (year 3)
8. 細CAR (Year 3)

Green Peace
1. sonie
2. nokiss
3. 晴
4. kiki
5. fung
6. 卓如
7. tommy
8. 卓
9. 細san

天水圍project
1.
2. kay
3. kiwi
4. 趙ling
5. cherie
6. maynbo
7. Cement
8. Sammy
9 Rainbow
10. Tracy

靈實長者地區中心
1.
2. yr 2 細car
3. Joanne
4. Jacqueline
5. jenny
6. 大car (Year3)
7. mandy
8. Doris
9. 倩
祝大家一切順利!!!

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

.........


當別人在流淚時,我不可流出半點眼淚

當大家都崩潰時,至少還有我在支撐著

變得堅強了…. 我該高興

Saturday, October 08, 2005

CD agency study 最新資料

有幾位未能抽中green peace 的同學今日好快已經respond 左佢地嘅preference
但仲有部份同學未有回應我
因為我屋企有d 事我要番大陸,我好希望大家可以儘快回應

未回應同學有:
(1) rita 敏 (2)細car

而未抽中同學可以揀嘅機構有
(1) 職工盟天水圍project (2個位)
(2) 工權會(3 個位)
(3) 靈實長者地區中心 (5個位)


同學再選擇之後嘅arrangement 方式都係會以大家最高priority 先作選擇,剩餘額數再full 時再抽籤,再抽唔中,就會去剩低有位嘅機構了

暫時同學選擇嘅情況為
(1) 職工盟天水圍project (2個位) cement ,rainbow,sammy
(2) 靈實長者地區中心(5個位) jenny,大car ,mandy ,doris , 倩
(3) 工權會 (3 個位) 暫時未有人選擇

換言之,暫時天水圍project 一定要再抽,其他兩個機構要睇下3位未回覆同學選擇再定案

請各位睇到我diary 時,可以的話請通知2 位同學
本人希望星期一可以所有嘢都settle 晒 so that 我可以handle 屋企嘅事
真係多謝大家合作!!!
really thx a lotsssssss!!!!!!

讀cd同學請留意及謙廣傳呢個message

道歉啟示from 包

各位sowk 讀cd 同學,由於之前收到yr 2 同學嘅分組名單並不包括所有yr 2 同學,因此,o係抽籤嘅時候並唔係根據所有同學嘅preference 去抽,即抽籤嘅結果exclude 左某d 同學嘅意願,而被excluded嘅名單,我於今天cd 堂後先收到,因此,所有分組安排要再arrange 過。
分組的準則主要係先按大家第一個preference,如果任何一間機構有超過9個人都係1st priority,就用抽籤形式決定study該機構的同學名單。至於抽唔到的同學,我就會以同學second priority 再分配入組。
Arrange 過之後,除左揀green peace 同學有影響,需要抽籤之外,其實並冇太大問題。

重新抽籤及分組如下:





SoCO
1. 嘉琪
2. bonnie
3. Simon
4. 穎恩
5. 餵蚊
6. April
7. emily
8. 包
9. gloria
工權會
1. Tina
2. Rebecca
3. 二
4. 金hei
5. vane
6. Nicola

Green Peace
1. sonie
2. nokiss
3. 晴
4. kiki
5. fung
6. 卓如
7. tommy
8. 卓
9. 細san

天水圍project
1. kiwi
2. kay
3. 北
4. 趙ling
5. tracy
6. cherie
7. maynbo


靈實長者地區中心
1. 叻
2. yr 2 細car
3. Joanne
4. Jacqueline
5.



換言之,未能抽中greenpeace 嘅同學有:
1. 倩 2. rita 3. doris 4.細 car 5. mandy
6. yr 3大car 7. cement 8. rainbow 9. sammy 10. jenny

請以上十個同學透過e-mail 或者打電話俾我 (冇人接聽請留message),話我知你地嘅preference
我再幫大家安排

基於o係同yr 2 同學溝通上出現左誤差,而要再安排過分組,對大家造成混亂,真係好唔好意思。請大家睇到呢個mail之後,有咩漏左,請儘快通知我。因為我出field 比較忙,你地respond 得快嘅話,我就可以快d 安排,大家都可以儘快開始做功課
thx a lot

Thursday, October 06, 2005

Fruitful placement day

今日又出左去開關綜聯嘅會
好多工作
自己可以幫下手喇
`支援到佢地,又可以幫下自己個組織工作鋪陳
聽佢地開會,我依然渺小得只係聽,有時聽得o黎都消化唔切
佢地個個都咁有經驗,我同佢地太有距離………..
今日都係學到好多嘢,有策略亦有creativity
如果我可以學完之後又識得用番出o黎就good 啦
不過,得先算……
突如其來的變動,明天就要開我個project 嘅第一次會
雖然係一次好initial contact 形式嘅會
但都好緊張
即晚draft 左個agenda

明天番三節
星期六番兩節

出field 到而家,每一個星期都OT
難怪阿Sor 叫我小心爆煲
其實已經爆左喇,不過按need-based同自己可claim CL時間 o黎講,暫時都係要繼續OT 落去
ANYWAY,學習係冇時間限制嘅
我深信
No pain no gain
何況CD WORK 分分鐘係 pain 得多,gain 得少

完成learning contract
快快完成O report ,仲要開始project proposal
meeting 又開始
present 又來
功課量真係多得可怕
包記要頂住

各位出field同學仔都要
阿芝,下星期加油呀!!!

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

A busy tiring day again

2:30am- hug hug lovely bed, but did meet Joe Ma in my dream >.< 7:00—leave my lovely bed
7:00-7:20- refreshed bath , body shop orange bath oil
7:45- 9:00 on the way to Tuen Mum RCC
9:00 rice roll for breakfast , cost $5
10:00-1:15 team meeting of women empowerment project , lot to discuss, but most were not directly related to my work, but I did learn from that
Presentation to senior IC while centre IC sitting next to me, unclear presentation needs improvement
1:15- 2:30 on the way back to school for Mentally disorder lecture,
2:30- 5:30 classmates’ presentation on Dementia, informative , I tried my very best to concentrate, but I failed in that due to bad functioning of brain
6:00-7:30—meeting of MD presentation, presentation life start, it must drain away certain portion of energy – one more work to shoulder

7:30 afterwards- personal stuffs, family observation , learning contract....... workfare& advocay
lot to do but limited energy and time

Monday, October 03, 2005

繁緒

今日上堂好攰好攰
因為琴晚喊左好耐,今朝起身對眼好似不隨意肌咁撐唔大
謝謝jenny 同sonie 關心!!!!

同佢地食lunch ,分享番一d 自己嘅現況同上個placement 嘅嘢
其實,有好多嘢,o係理性層面我係知道,不過感情上未可以好好過渡

做做下family 功課,突然rita 把聲o係我腦入面出現
係上星期cd 堂時佢話: 做CD worker 要有bravery ,要like to win
覺得兩樣自己都欠缺
8年中學校隊嘅生活加A LEVEL 令到我好唔鍾意competition,所以某程度上我唔鍾意去贏,尤其是去贏人

究竟,我係咪真係冇資格???

Rita 就o黎唔教,覺得好可惜
我好希望可以跟佢學嘢
突然覺得可以俾佢鬧係一種福氣

complex feelings today

Sunday, October 02, 2005

難過但要堅強

番左大陸睇嫲嫲,佢真係瘦左好多,睇到佢個病樣,好心痛。
見到阿爺因為擔心阿嫲成個人憔悴晒,由一個好好胃口嘅老人家,變左而家半碗飯都食唔落,要爸爸佢地好似迫個細路仔咁迫佢食嘢,我內心好難過
我又唔識得講說話去安慰佢,覺得自己好冇用
對住病重嘅嫲嫲,就更加唔識講嘢
只係好老套好老套咁同佢講: 我三月著畢業袍戴四方帽影畢業相,到時你要o黎香港……… 心裡面好難過,一番連我自己都唔係好相信可以成為事實嘅說話
走嘅一刻好唔捨得,但留低,我又好冇作為,我唔想佢面前喊,但我又好怕再冇機會同佢傾計
番到香港一直都平靜唔到,不斷諗番起以前番大陸同阿嫲一齊住,記得佢過年時同我地去買茶果,同我地去買貓,同阿妹爭同阿嫲瞓
我唔想失去親人,但我又知道係一個必要要面對嘅事實
一諗起佢地,我就冇晒心機
救命,點解有病o個個唔係我


比比,多謝你陪住我
有時我唔識得將自己嘅感受好好收歛
但有時,我都唔識得同你講我最真嘅感受
但我知道你係道我想法同感受,你先會番完一日工咁辛苦都搵我
我會好好支持,叫自己堅強d